I wonder where I caught it.  I’d always thought that I’m noticeably porcine because (i) I eat too much damned food, and (ii) I drink too much damned beer.

What a relief it was to stumble across this article.  Being a fat body is actually a disease, you see, just like pneumonia is a disease, or being HIV-positive, or being scrofulous (I love that word, by the way).  Now I can blame “society” for not being able to bend over to tie my shoelaces, and for being left winded by the walk up my driveway to check the mailbox.  “Andrews-Looper blames American society, saying it’s the oversized portions and calorie consumption producing overweight people.”  Silly me, all along I thought I’m too fat because I forgot to shut my pie-hole somewhere along the way.

By the way, guys, “society” is all of y’all.  So what are y’all going to do to slim my butt back to where it ought to be?